Help! My Child Who Stutters Is Being Bullied
No one wants to be bullied, and a child with a communication problem is no exception. Children who stutter are more likely to be bullied than other children.
Fifty-nine percent of children who stutter report being bullied about their speech. More than half of children who stutter report being bullied as often as at least once per week.
Bullying can impact a child's emotional well-being, confidence, and academic performance.
If you think your child who stutters might be getting bullied, what should you do as a parent? This article will provide the information you need to know to protect your child from getting bullied.
We will explain how to respond effectively to bullying, reduce the likelihood of further bullying, and help children who stutter become less affected when bullied by other children.
Why are School-Age Children Who Stutter More Likely to be Bullied?
What are the Consequences of Bullying for Children Who Stutter?
How Can I Tell if My Child is Being Bullied?
How Can Parents Respond to Bullying?
How to Teach Your Child to React to the Bullying Behavior
What is Bullying?
Bullying is repeated, unwanted, and aggressive behavior intended to hurt or cause discomfort to another person. It can take many different forms, such as physical violence, verbal harassment, social exclusion, or spreading rumors.
There are three key characteristics of bullying:
It is intended to hurt or scare someone.
It is done on purpose and is repeated over time.
There is an imbalance of power, with the bully having more power than the victim.
Bullies pick on others for lots of different reasons; therefore, bullying can feel very different from person to person. Some bullies might only do mean things occasionally, but others will never stop hurting people until someone stops them.
Bullying is never acceptable. Bullying differs from teasing in that bullying involves a conscious effort to cause harm. It is hurtful and something we want to prevent for all children, not just those who stutter.
Who Gets Bullied?
Everyone is at risk of being bullied. People get bullied for lots of different reasons. The most common reasons are:
They are shy and quiet and don't want to do things with other children.
They are different in some way from the bully. Bullies look for differences between people and attack based on those differences.
They speak differently than their peers.
What Does Bullying Look Like?
Sometimes, it would be easy to tell if your child is being bullied. They may report that someone said something mean at school, pushed them around, took their stuff away, or made fun of them.
But bullying doesn't always work this way. Sometimes bullying can look like this:
Your child is being excluded on the playground, bus, phone, via the Internet ("cyberbullying"), at curricular activities, and anywhere else a child interacts with others.
Your child is being made fun of by reporting that children are calling them names, insulting them, or verbally taunting them.
Your child is not getting picked to join a team because they are too scared to speak and say anything.
If your child or other adults involved in your child's care have reported to you that any of these things have occurred, and it concerned them, then this is bullying. Other times, it's hard to tell if someone is being bullied. Talk to your child to learn more if you are unsure of what's happening.
Why are School-Age Children Who Stutter More Likely to be Bullied?
Children who stutter can be bullied more often than other children. There are many reasons for this.
Stuttering can make it difficult for children to speak fluently, making them stand out from their peers and appear different.
In addition, children who stutter may be perceived as weaker or more vulnerable than other children, making them an easy target for bullying.
Finally, children who stutter may be less likely to speak up for themselves or defend themselves when bullied, making the bullying behavior more likely to continue.
What are the Consequences of Bullying for Children Who Stutter?
Bullying can have many negative consequences for children who stutter.
First, bullying can cause emotional distress, such as feelings of sadness, anxiety, and loneliness.
In addition, bullying can lead to reduced self-esteem and confidence. Children who are bullied about their stuttering may start to believe that there is something wrong with them and that they are not good enough, which can significantly impact the child's life. It can lead to social withdrawal and isolation.
Children who stutter may avoid situations where they must speak, such as classroom presentations or extracurricular activities.
Finally, bullying can also impact a child's academic performance. Children who are bullied may have difficulty concentrating in school and may start to miss class or underperform on assignments.
How Can I Tell if My Child is Being Bullied?
First, you may notice your child suddenly withdrawn or isolated from their friends and family. In addition, you may see that your child is suddenly anxious or fearful of certain situations, such as going to school or participating in extracurricular activities.
You may also notice changes in your child's sleep habits or appetite. Finally, you may see that your child's academic performance has declined.
If you notice these signs, speak with your child to see if they are being bullied.
How Can Parents Respond to Bullying?
If you suspect that your child is being bullied, there are a few things that you can do to minimize bullying.
You can let classroom teachers, school administrators, and counselors know about the bullying so they have all the information they need to help prevent your child from being bullied.
Other children who stutter might need your support and guidance, so connect with them and help strengthen everyone's resolve.
If you have tried these strategies and still need help, consider talking to an expert like a speech pathologist or psychologist to see if any other approaches may be helpful.
You will want your child to know they have a robust support system they can count on.
How to Teach Your Child to React to the Bullying Behavior
Because of their communication challenges, children who stutter find it harder to respond directly to bullies.
A bully tends to pick on others about things that bother them. They are seeking a negative reaction from the person they are bullying. If the child who stutters reacts negatively to the bully's actions, the bully will likely continue. If the child could react less negatively, this action may prevent bullying in the future.
Bullying management programs in schools are helpful, but we also need to consider what we can do as parents and caregivers to help our children who stutter.
If your child has been dealing with bullying, there are many helpful ways to help them cope. You can try using the following practical strategies:
Educate Your Child About Stuttering
Many children who stutter have asked their parents questions about their speech. If this is the case, you may wish to teach your child about what it means to stutter.
You can answer any questions they have about it and give them facts in a way that is comfortable for them to understand. It's important to let your child know that although stuttering makes talking hard sometimes, it does not mean they are less intelligent.
Encourage your child to become aware of their communication and how they are handling situations.
Engage in conversations meaningful to you so your child can become comfortable answering questions from others over time. If they ask you a question, encourage them to answer it for themselves first before asking you what you think.
You can also discourage people from making comments about your child who stutters.
For example, if someone is laughing at them because of their speech, tell the person that it is not nice to do that. Let the person know that your child may be embarrassed, and they shouldn't try to make them feel bad if they stutter.
If someone asks you a question directly about something related to their speech, let them answer it if they can without fear of embarrassment. If your child needs help coming up with an answer, let them know that it's okay to take a moment to think about their response. Tell your child you are proud of their desire to learn and try new things.
Teach Your Child to Think Differently About Stuttering
As children who stutter get older, emphasize the importance of being themselves and not being afraid of situations like talking in front of others or doing mock presentations that allow them to boost the child's self-esteem.
Your child will likely become more confident if they know you are proud of who they are, making it easier for them to stand up to the bully. If your child could respond in a way that does not give the bully what they want (i.e., negative attention), then the bully will move on.
You can tell your child what they should do when someone is being mean and teach them how to think differently about their stuttering. For example, you can tell your child that the bully is probably having a bad day or has some problems of their own.
Help Your Child Become More Assertive
Parents often tell their children to ignore derogatory comments about their speech. Still, children find it challenging to ignore hurtful comments when people continue mentioning what they want to hide.
Even if you tell your child how much you love them as they are, they might still be affected negatively when others make fun of them and their speech. Emphasizing appropriately assertive responses can help children to deal with their stuttering. You can show your child how to be assertive in the following ways:
Encourage good eye contact during conversations because it shows a person is interested in their communication partner. If a child does not know what to say, they can look at you for help or signal that they need more time to think about their answer.
Encourage good posture because it signifies confidence and makes others take your child more seriously. Your child should stand straight, have his shoulders back, and keep his head up.
You can try to role-play assertive statements such as, "I'm not comfortable with you talking about my speech like that," or, "I don't like it when you laugh at me because of my speech." Your child should never be afraid to speak up and assert themselves.
Teach Your Child That it is Okay to Stutter
The more children know their stuttering is acceptable, the more they learn to cope. As they accept it, they are less likely to have adverse reactions and can avoid speaking and tensing up; this makes them feel better about themselves.
When they have more confidence, they can be more outgoing and not feel as though they need to avoid situations where speaking in public is required.
Tell your child that it's okay if they need time to think about what they will say, but also let them know that there is no shame in stopping themselves from talking if they feel like they do not have the correct answer.
Tell your child to replace negative thoughts like "I stutter on almost every word, and people laugh at me" with thoughts like "I may stutter sometimes, but people around me don't notice."
As children overcome their fear of stuttering, responding to bullies in less harmful ways will be easier. They will be better able to ignore the bullying and take actions that will lead to less bullying in the future.
Following these steps can help your child who stutters feel more confident, build positive relationships, and find the right resources.
The Role of Speech-Language Pathologists
Speech-language pathologists who work with children who stutter can offer suggestions to help your child cope better. They will educate parents and work directly with children to develop positive communication skills and learning strategies they can use in the future.
A speech-language pathologist can also offer stuttering treatment options, which may help lessen the frequency and severity of your child's stuttering.
Your speech-language pathologist can provide various stuttering therapy resources, which may be helpful for you and your child.
Speech-language pathologists will partner with parents and children who stutter by creating a safe environment to address communication difficulties and prevent bullying.
Frequently Asked Questions
1. Is stuttering a speech disorder?
Yes, stuttering is classified as a speech disorder. It typically begins in early childhood and can persist into adulthood. Although there is no known cure for stuttering, it is possible to treat the condition and help people who stutter to speak more fluently.
2. What causes stuttering?
The exact cause of stuttering is unknown, but it is believed to be a combination of genetic and environmental factors.
3. How common is stuttering?
Stuttering affects approximately 3 million people in the United States. It occurs more frequently in males than females.
4. What types of organizations support parents of children who stutter?
The National Stuttering Association (NSA) is an excellent organization for parents of children who stutter. The NSA offers resources, support groups, and information about treatment options.
The Stuttering Foundation is another excellent resource for families affected by stuttering.
5. Does a child need to be fluent when speaking to the bully?
No. It is irrelevant whether or not your child is fluent. You will want to help your child respond to the bully, so they will need to practice with you and your child's speech pathologist until they can provide their responses confidently. Using stuttering management strategies or pseudostuttering can help your child say what they want.
How Connected Speech Pathology Can Help
Our team of certified speech-language pathologists can help if your child is struggling with bullying.
We offer a comprehensive assessment to evaluate your child's overall communication skills. This will help us determine if any areas of concern may impact your child's ability to cope with bullying.
We can also guide you in supporting your child at home and school.
Schedule a free consultation to learn more about our online stuttering services.
About the Author
Allison Geller is a speech-language pathologist (SLP) and the owner of Connected Speech Pathology. She obtained her Bachelor’s and Master’s degrees from the University of Florida in Speech-Language Pathology. Allison has practiced speech therapy in a number of settings including telepractice, acute care, outpatient rehabilitation, and private practice. She has worked extensively with individuals across the lifespan including toddlers, preschoolers, school-aged children, and adults. She specializes in the evaluation, diagnosis, and treatment of a variety of communication disorders including receptive/expressive language disorders, articulation disorders, voice disorders, fluency disorders, brain injury, and swallowing disorders.
Allison served as the clinical coordinator of research in aphasia in the Neurological Institute at Columbia University Medical Center in New York. She is on the Board of Directors for the Corporate Speech Pathology Network (CORSPAN), a Lee Silverman Voice Treatment (LSVT) certified clinician, and a proud Family Empowerment Scholarship/Step-Up For Students provider. Allison is passionate about delivering high quality-effective treatment remotely because it’s convenient and easy to access. What sets us apart from other online speech therapy options is—Allison takes great care to hire the very best SLPs from all over the country.
